Episode Five

I like Icelanders. The Icelandic? Whatever. They are a singin' bunch! Now I wanna go to Reykjavik even more!

Special Agent Dale Cooper: Caring, gentle, careful teen flirter.

Oooh! Icelandic women gift with meat! I need to meat . . . I mean, MEET me an Icelandic woman!

Special Agent Dale Cooper: perv extraordinaire. But on the DL. Except when the twinkle in his eyes betrays him. He likes looking at those Flesh World mags a little too much.

Bobby is not a smart gun user. Never, ever stroke your woman's breasticles with a loaded gun. That's just askin' for trouble. You could deflate one or something.

I feel bad for James. He's had a hard life. But good lord, could you be more emo? Talk about a rebel without a clue.

I like doughnuts. I wish I had some doughnuts right now. It's really unfair to wave giant plates of doughnuts in front of me. Really, really unfair.

Apparently the beehive (or is it the up-do?) is still a popular hairstyle in Twin Peaks . . . also, Norma's husband looks like a cross between Luke Perry and Partick Swayze. No wonder he's so COOL!

Here's a theory . . . the Log Lady is the White, where as the Thing that lives in the hills is the Black . . . the Devil, it sounds like. She's a major power, the lynch pin for the goodness in Twin Peaks. Special Agent Dale Cooper is the knight, and she's the queen.

Waldo is a great name for a myna bird. If I ever have one, I'm naming it Waldo. Or Steve.

Catherine needs a shirt that says 'Dick'. Maybe Bobby can lend her one. But she sure can cut a rug with a nut bar, I'll give her that.

Josie. Man, do I hate her. I think she needs a 'Dick' shirt too. I should open a 'Dick' shirt franchise in Twin Peaks. I'd make a mint, I tell ya.

Why would you own, and put on your head, glasses, if you never WEAR them? If I needed an answer to this question, I could ask Maddy.

Norma's husband col' cocked Leo! Isn't he COOL?! And then, you know, Shelly shot him. Or so it seems . . . so . . . is she cool too? I dunno!